Thursday, July 20, 2017

Ana the Moon Goddess

After a few short months of finally adjusting to my nightly dreams of chaotic interstellar and inter dimensional travel, i had finally accepted that this phenomenon im going through may never end. Ive become more humble and understanding throughout this journey.

As another day on earth passed i geared up for another timeline of discovery and adventure. As i closed my eyes and began to drift off into the abyss, I woke to discover that i was not in the tree where my energy would wake. this time I was at my familys house. I knew what this was, this dream alone had pushed me to the cusp of suicide and insanity.

It was midnight, the sky covered in clouds that not even the moons light could penetrate. I look at my mother who is slowly losing her life to brain cancer and kneel at her feet. Feeling that this was my last time being able to talk to her before she left i told her goodbye, that id be okay and that my love for her would shine so bright she could find it no matter where she went after this life. Kissing her soft cheek for the last time I busted out of the back door crying as i didnt want to wake anyone in the house. In a emotional fit i light up a cigarette and look down to discover a razorblade and a ripped peice of paper laying in front of me. Blank on the front, with writing on the back reading "Suffer she will if you wait, no more pain if your soul i can take. With blood you write your what you desire, then burn the note with hair and fire". Not being able to bare watching the woman who took care of me my entire life i was quick to cut my skin and begin writing "My mothers soul i wish to release, that she may have an afterlife with no pain, only peace". I walked over to the grill that sat on the deck in the backyard, taking the lighter i had used to light my smoke, i burned the paper. Moments later a hole in the sky would open with a a ominous blood red light shining down where i now stood. Winged beasts hurled from the sky in my direction and circled around me. Looking down i see a very strange diagram beneath my feet, glowing red and moving like a gear. They begin to chant in tounges, i cannot understand until finally a character mimicking Satan begins to appear out of thin air. The beasts then enter the house dragging my mothers almost lifeless body out and putting her by my feet. "Another mortal soul i shall take, this blood oath shall never break" A white energy begins to float from my mother body towards the sky's, forever gone from the world she loved. beasts held me down while Satan takes a knife from his tail. He would begin to cut me open and shackle my eternal soul to his, I was to walk with the damned and be tortured for all eternity. I would then wake up crying in a panic attack in my bed wishing that i was dead.

This time things were different, as Satan began to chant and bury his knife into my chest, he stopped and dropped the knife as something strange was happening. The knife began to glow bright pink. "Hi!!!!!" a very cute childish female voice came from the knife. Satan looking confused shouts "WHO DARES INTERRUPT MY CEREMONY". The knife begins levitate and take the shape of a little girl, who shines brighter than the sun, wearing a white dress with flowing blonde hair even when no wind blew. "Woah that was fun, i'm Ana!" extending her open hand to Satan expecting a hand shake. "YOU FOOLISH LITTLE GIRL, ILL BANISH YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF" Satan was cut of by Ana who put her hand over his mouth. "Thats not very nice we dont want to play with you anymore" says Ana. Suddenly she begin to glow brighter lighting up the entire area, until everything finally goes white.

I then wake up in the tree that i'm forever entangled with. Looking around i'm in my astral body. My skin blue and hair green, even my tail! Ecstatic that my Night terror had gone and i was back home i raced out of the tree to surround myself with the beauty i had created. Everything was calm and peaceful, until suddenly a tap on my shoulder. Turning around it was Ana, floating at my eye level, smiling and then wrapping her arms around me to hug me. "Im Ana i came from there" Her finger points to one of my 3 moons. "I could feel how much pain you were in so i came and brought you back to here, I hope you dont mind" 

Ana now accompanies me on my travels, and for the span of about 2 months every night i had a night terror Ana was right there to stop it in some clever and cute fashion, and take me back home. When our journey has come to an end she becomes the core to one of my moons as i go to become core of my planet planet.

I believe Ana may be my mom, her pure energy manifested itself into this deity and is forever with me. On our travels she is always excited to visit new and old worlds to see how they reform after the rebirth of the universe. Or maybe its just me creating things in my head to cope with losing the most important person in my life. Either way im grateful for it, my dreams are never lonely and my heart soul is forever warm again.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

My first night in the astral realm

I have always enjoyed the mystery of my dreams, taking me to worlds where everything felt familiar and comfortable. With the acceptation of a hand full of night terrors and some nightmares my dreams have always been relatively calm.

The day after my first and so far only experience with lsd I had a very strange energy that felt like it had attached itself to me. I dismissed it figuring that the feeling was just a side effect from the drug. After sharing my trip with my co-workers and friends and spending the rest of the day trying to re adjust to reality again i had finally made it to bed time. I was really excited to sleep, the night before felt like i never truly fell asleep more like i was floating in a empty black box and waking up feeling exactly like i did the night before. After getting the sheets right, kissing my girlfriend and puppy goodnight i closed my eyes and began to drift off into a deep slumber.

The next thing i can remember is waking up in a empty white room with only a door. Standing up i walked to the door opening it revealing a hallowed out wooden room. Nothing inside of it only wood and another door with beams of light penetrating through the window. Walking out side that door behind me now stood the most massive tree that my mind had ever even humored my mind. So tall that it penetrated the indigo
clouds and harboring hundreds of other plant life
occupying the thick bark.

Curious about this strange new planet i begin to wonder into the terrain. In front of this massive tree was a lake, with a purple hue and the stars from the night above reflecting across the water. Creatures playing in the distance, Fairy's, mushroom people, 2 headed squirrels but the size of a dog and rabbits wings roamed the land. Massive behemoth's walked to this lake filling their palms with water to feed the life outside of that which was habitable. The energy felt peaceful, like this is where i belong this is home and where i needed to be.
       Walking closer to this lake i felt a overwhelming attachment to the sun the planet orbited. The sensation of gravity was gone but everything else remained in place. I was being pulled closer and closer to the sun until i eventually was emerged inside of this bright gaseous ball of light.
         The next thing i knew was that i was floating infront of this entity where a blue aura attached itself between us. At first I was overwhelmed with emotion, as if i could feel the entire universe's creations inside of me. This feeling lasted for a very short time as the energy between us began to change frome blue to a hue of green. This began the flood of knowledge, everything that the universe is and ever will be was suddenly embedded in my mind. How the universe creates life, how to travel to these worlds where life exist, the mathematical inner workings to universal and dimensional travel. All of the information ever to be created was now accessible, any question i had answered immediately. The entity pulled me closer and closer until we began to merge into one unit.

   All of this was very overwhelming i now knew i could never return to the world which i came from. I could only spectate from a distance never to return to the vessel that once held my energy. Never to see my family or the people that i had loved. I built a bridge between my world and the earth, spectating from the clouds and watching as my former self became a slave to man made things, having a family and losing his life to a robbery at the bank he managed. I watched as his kids grew up, and their kids and so on until i eventually grew tired of these repetitive creatures and floated off into space.

I spent time traveling between worlds and dimensions
meeting creatures of all kinds. Leaf creatures that were delivered their children by giant pelican like birds to their family's in exchange for food and tummy rubs. Planets where elephants with giraffes necks could fly with wings the size of ants. Anything imaginable was out there for me to spectate and watch as if i created it for entertainment and not be alone.

As time passed the universe became inhabitable, black holes that scaled to unimaginable proportions sucking in all light until nothing remained. On the other side particals smashed into each other forming a exact copy of the universe
 before only with slightly different details.
Time had restarted and began to reform in a infinite loop.

It was finally time for me to rest. Traveling to the world which i woke from I began to tunnel to the center of the rock. I then began to turn myself into a seed, a seed that would eventually flood the entire planet with all the genetic information i had saved from the most unique life from all across the previous universe. Slowly i began to fade into the ball becoming it until everything became dark and no more.

I woke up from the dream in shock. My mind was exhausted and i felt so much different from the person i once was. Looking in the mirror my body remained the same, i was still this monkey looking thing that was known as a human. I could remember my dream but without the knowledge i once possessed or the power. I was just me again here on earth normal every day me.
 Nightly i have this dream, some things are different and some remain the same, i always wake up the next day and nothing is different. Some things feel different but still remain the same. In these dreams I am the dream on the other side. I am the dream for myself on the other side of this and my energy travels between me and me. Time no longer means a thing to me as these dreams go on for longer than time in this universe. Feeling old is at best a describing word for the depths of how long i truly feel like i have lived.

These dreams happen every night, i wake on the same world in the same tree just with different things happening before the end of the current universe. I observe different events and sometimes spend a part of my time mimicking their image and blending in with their society. Life has become very strange for me since acid for good and bad.